Here are four steps to help you stop worrying about what other people think, designed to help you maintain healthier and happier relationships with yourself and others. When you're living and creating from a place of genuine love and acceptance, you will know that what other people do, say, and think about you really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Which, in fact, we all are. Deep inside we know that true acceptance comes from within. Every woman who ever went out with you must pine for you forever. Civilization, which is held together by a fragile web of tactful phrasing, polite omissions and white lies, would collapse in an apocalypse of bitter recriminations and weeping, breakups and fistfights, divorces and bankruptcies, scandals and resignations, blood feuds, litigation, wholesale slaughter in the streets and lingering ill will.
Direct the energy to something positive. The catch was, you had to pass through all the worst things people had said before you could get to the highest compliments at the very bottom. They who mocked you will rue the day!. Learn this mantra: What Other People Think About Me Is None of My Business! Anyone worth knowing is inevitably also going to be exasperating: making the same obvious mistakes over and over, dating imbeciles, endlessly relapsing into their dumb addictions and self-defeating habits, blind to their own hilarious flaws and blatant contradictions and fiercely devoted to whatever keeps them miserable. So instead of caring so much if someone might be talking about you behind your back. A gallery of contributors count the ways.
For many people, this journey begins with meditation, breath-work, yoga, eating healthy, spending time in nature, and creating art. Practice daily self-love and acceptance. A regular, daily practice of self-love and self-acceptance is key for releasing attachment to outcomes and maintaining happy, healthy relationships. The problem is that this is insane — the psychology of dictators who regard all dissent as treason, and periodically order purges to ensure unquestioning loyalty. From birth, we're taught we should act a certain way, dress a certain way, buy certain products, and adhere to certain ideologies to be liked and accepted.
This is a life-long mission, not an instant transformation that happens overnight, so please be kind and forgive yourself if you fall back into the cycle of worrying about what other people think. This is one of the darker hazards of electronic communication, Reason No. And those few people about whom there is nothing ridiculous are by far the most preposterous of all. Those who rejected you must regret it. Take a moment and begin to process and accept this perspective.
Needless to say, this makes us embarrassed and angry and damn our betrayers as vicious two-faced hypocrites. As you feel more self-love and self-acceptance, you will attract more of it into your space. This is a form of social conditioning that we must now give ourselves permission to release! You'll be amazed at how happy and free you feel when you spend time doing what you love instead of worrying about what other people think! Many of us have spent our whole lives in this cycle, believing that a certain set of actions would bring us acceptance, only to repeatedly find that this is not the case. Breathe, repeat your mantra, and then direct the excess energy towards something positive, like following your passion and doing what you love! We are stressed and exhausted trying to manage our real and online personas to make sure that people continue to like and accept us. You do not control the way people will respond, just as they do not control the way you respond to them.
This particular e-mail was, in itself, no big deal. In fact, with all this time spent worrying and managing expectations, this mantra can feel downright strange at first! There is no way I would ever make it more than two and a half steps down such a staircase, but I understand its terrible logic: if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known. If you find yourself feeling attached to their opinions of you, just remember that they, like you, are walking a long journey of internal healing and growth, and that their attitudes are unique and personal to them. It would be like suddenly subtracting the strong nuclear force from the universe; the fabric of society would instantly evaporate, every marriage, friendship and business partnership dissolved. We've been socialized by a culture that sets norms for our belongingness. You must be loved, respected — above all, taken seriously! No matter what you do, make sure to do something that reminds you how much you love yourself every day.
Everyone wants to be liked and accepted, but many of us spend too much time and energy worrying about what other people think. Try a creative new activity, such making art, dancing, playing music, building something, or frolicking outside. It also breaks the cycle of conditioning that if you could only do X, say Y, and buy Z, people would like and accept you. The reality is that what other people think about you is none of your business! See how the mantra makes you feel, and note the resistance you might feel from your ego. Years ago a friend of mine had a dream about a strange invention; a staircase you could descend deep underground, in which you heard recordings of all the things anyone had ever said about you, both good and bad. Credit Christelle Enault Just as teasing someone to his face is a way of letting him know that you know him better than he thinks, making fun of him behind his back is a way of bonding with your mutual friends, reassuring one another that you both know and love and are driven crazy by this same person.
You might not even realize you're doing it, but these kinds of mental gymnastics are unhealthy and stressful, making us feel unworthy and removing our attention from the present moment. The root of the problem with caring about what people think about you is that you're attaching yourself to an outcome that you have absolutely no control over. In order to break the cycle, it's important to understand where the energy is coming from. . . .
. . . . .
. . . . . . .