A codependent father may demand that his son excel in sports to make up for his own lack of athleticism in childhood. Because of the fragmented way in which the borderline sees herself either made up of good stuff or made up of bad stuff the borderline parent views her children in the same fragmented way. I didn't even look back. My mother would 'rewrite' our childhood history to perhaps sound better than it really was which is pointless and many times inaccurate according to timelines due to the age differences in my siblings and myself. I have two children they take care of while I'm at work. This creates a dramatic role reversal of the parent-child relationship and turns it into a vampiric dynamic rather than a mutually beneficial one. I'm a slow learner and started a fight with me when she found out.
My dad is extremely codependent. She gets worked up when I try to have a conversation with cousins or my brother that she cannot hear, even when they are not about her at all. I'd be happy to chip in, but why on earth does she leave everything to me? My doctors want me to remain as stress free as possible. Just yesterday, she texted me that she wanted me to call her regarding her dog which she also told my youngest son, without my blessing, was his dog too. Mom and child are walking on the sidewalk. And something very profound happened to me after that. Unfortunately you and others like you see others as having to placate your abusive rages.
In others, carefully imposed boundaries, discussion, and family therapy can be used to maintain a healthy relationship for both parties. I agree that there is a very slim if any chance that she would seek help. My mother did nothing to help me through any of the challenges but always wanted me to be there for her emotionally. Our relationship has been so beautiful and the toxic relationship with the parents is unsettling. I wasn't there for more than ten minutes and it started almost where she left off the last time, so I grabbed my keys and purse and said, bye Mom, I love you.
At Bridges to Recovery, we offer for the adult children of mothers with borderline personality disorder. My current therapist actually bought my mom's victim act until he got to know me more and I'm sure he still probably might feel bad for her. She makes me feel like child. He has some hearing loss which he constantly uses as an excuse to not go out and interact or get a hobby, along with his excuse of being overweight. If the same person was not related to kristyn and new my sister as well as she did she would have definitely been invited. Keep in mind I was struggling academically too.
All of his family members were on the phone with him many times, trying to figure things out and fix the latest crisis. She shows no real sense of humor but thinks she does. She agreed to get her won place within a year but she has now been living with us for 3 years. I am 45 years young. I think my mom is well intentioned and my dad just likes the control and authority. It took me until my mid-forties to even think about trying it. That said, I do not feel ready to give up on this relationship on the basis of my observations and speculation alone.
In the last twenty years, she's probably averaged one job per year. Life with a parent that won't ever admit they could be the problem can be so totally frustrating, and hurtful, we have to do something or we will completely break in half. Then I find myself getting in heated arguments with my father which seem like he was always home, and I had no space for me. Like for example I visited a childhood friend for their bday this past weekend who lives 2 hrs away in the same city as my older brother. In this whole mess my daughter latched on to her. I don't feel I'm at a place yet where I can get out of this situation without feeling guilty and scared of what might happen. Maybe your raging is from a bipolar rather than a bpd phenomenon.
I am the root of all of her family strife. Every time that I try to talk to her she cries and plays the victim. Such confrontations are very uncomfortable to the personality disorder as you are bringing their behavior to their attention. If the now-adult child of the still-raging mom decides to try exits once or twice, with each success the new regime is likely to get easier. I would really like her to read this page. I do know that it feels a whole bunch better when you start to think of the better times. Ive been feeling alone and unsure as to what I should do.
What the articles have made me notice is I am easily offended. Dad is emotionally dismissive and verbally abusive. I had never heard of this before but reading about it since, that is exactly what she had. Is it too late to stop taking care of her? Do yourself and future self a favor and remove yourself from the situation while you can. Dependent personality disorder treatment self help — Reflect on your childhood. Then, we will finally get the happiness we have always wanted without being belittled. But it was always aimed at my mother or myself.
One thing that'd help is if they both took a vacation, but I'm lucky to get maybe a few hours of alone time. When either of them are in a good mood, I don't lower my guard anymore because I know it'll change, it's just a matter of when. My mother's response to this has been centred around her and she shouts at me when we try to discuss things. How can I get away from this other than ignore her? Even a siMple text message she gets she would asks me what to reply. It all began in high school, we always had a tight relationship.
Do you seek advice for everyday decisions? Maybe she wishes she could come to me and tell me she is sorry. We have our baby's baptism coming up and the whole event has become about my mother and how it will fit into her life. This woman is an avid coffee drinker, but when I am around she acts like she has forgot how to make coffee. I did not attend her funeral and both myself and my brother were specifically excluded from her will. I've just asked them not to share details of their marital problems which they've done since I was a toddler or send me hateful texts with cuss words and horrendous accusations.